Yes, we’ve all been tickled pink by those cheeky, chainsaw-wielding clowns jumping out of bushes on a dark (k)night, but how can we capture this in the classroom? 

Here are my top ten tips for successful clowning around:

1. Art: dress up as clowns, complete with face paint, and then draw the clowns, paying particular attention to the menace of the baseball bats.

2. Drama: devise a freeze-frame of a young family running hastily into the darkness away from a clown. Extra marks for those adopting a Stanislavskian approach to the axe swinging.

3. English: write a police report/newspaper article about the murder of an elderly couple by “killer” clowns. Use lots of adjectives. And nouns.

4. PE: practise jumping out of bushes whilst waving your arms. Add a beachball in for added difficulty.

5. Geography: plot all the clown sightings in the UK, then colour code for those where emergency services have been called.

6. MFL: learn to say, “Help, I am being chased by a clown” in French. Then Spanish. Then German.

7. History: create a timeline of clowns in the news.

8. Science: devise an experiment to find out the solubility of clowns in highly acidic substances.

9. RE: do clowns have souls?

10. Music: write a theme-tune for a special news report about the genuine fear and panic caused by these absolute jokers.

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